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Love Making Life with…

Annette Gates, LCSW, MEd, CSSE

Hello I’m Annette Gates, LMSW, MEd, CSSE, CGC. All those letters show my dedication to holding a safe space for your healing.

Most of my clients are struggling with sexuality and intimacy issues within their relationships, whether they are with a partner or single. Often there are persistent patterns and traumatic past events that create less than ideal relationship dynamics. Sexual functioning concerns may also be present, leading to decreased capacity for emotional intimacy, freedom and joy in intimate relationships. I work with many clients that have participated in years of therapy and need deeper support unraveling the patterns in their sex and intimacy life. I also support therapists or helping professionals, so they can help their clients better. I am a trauma-informed sex and relationship therapist who facilitates all people through their concerns for a more fulfilling sex and intimacy life. ORACLE? I have lots of knowledge and wisdom to offer that is clinical, humanistic and spiritual, not religious. My philosophy, influenced by Barbara Brennan, is about healing the human energy system, body/emotion, mind, and spirit. Our spirit is not separate!

Discussing sexuality and relationship concerns can be difficult for people. I’ve known how long people struggle with an issue and never see change. I can help you find this change using strength-based approaches and deep presence to unravel your patterns.

I offer telehealth sessions via Zoom. In-person sessions are available in my Santa Fe Office (@ Dragonfly Transformations Healing Arts Studio, located at 129 W San Francisco St, 2nd Floor). I do not take insurance. My sliding scale is $200-159 per hour.

Schedule a free 30-minute zoom/phone consultation

Questions? Use this FORM
or email me at

If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming anxiety or grief, reach out to talk to someone free and anonymous at 505-954-1057. Help is available. Crisis Counseling for New Mexico.

Nationwide visit NAMI.ORG

Call the NAMI HelpLine at 800-950-6264 or chat M-F, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. In a crisis,  text “NAMI” to 741741 for 24/7, confidential, free crisis counseling.

Loss is pervasive and grief does not discriminate!
Get help in free weekly support groups click below

I hope this 15 minute guided meditation audio file helps with centering in efforts to self soothe as we all learn to navigate the effects of traumatic events. As events happen, they often shatter our illusions of safety. These times can really help us to center into ourselves and our community to create a stronger and more cohesive sense of self. Trauma is not what happens to us, it’s something that happens inside us as we disconnect from ourselves. We often lacked the nurturing and empathy from caregivers that we needed to come back to our selves. We can heal our trauma as we understand ourselves more deeply. As we journey home to ourselves, our wholeness…


You will find this audio file is meant to facilitate a deeper inquiry into yourself.

Also, on my website, please allow my course module links to help you deepen.

And lastly, please ask any questions or offer sharing here on this form.

All is held in confidence…


Check out my free pre-recorded course modules BELOW by scrolling down.


Contact and Practice

My sessions and workshops are mostly on Zoom. In-person sessions are available in my

Santa Fe Office: 129 W San Francisco Street, 2nd Floor

(follow signs for Dragonfly Transformations Healing Arts Studio)

I’m currently taking new clients. My sliding scale is $200-159 per hour. I do not take insurance. Coaching packages below offer more affordable rates. My rates for BBSH student BIP sessions are different.

Coaching Programs

Coaching programs are the ultimate commitment to yourself and healing your relationships. They are the path to freedom! Goals and sessions offer a safe space to gain insight into your past, re-education opportunities, and awareness of your mind-body patterning around sex and intimacy. Sessions are a mix of guided inquiry into your past, mindfulness and breath practice with guided visualizations. The process develops to affect the change you are seeking. Sessions are fully clothed. Sessions are offered by phone, video, or in person in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Schedule a confidential, free 30-minute coaching session from the link below.

Coaching Program Costs:

Be You in 3 sessions – $495 ($165/session)

Go Deeper in 5 sessions –  $810 ($162/session)

Dive Deep in 7 sessions – $1113 ($159/session)

Interested in a package…

Schedule a confidential free 30-minute coaching session 


Annette Gates, LCSW, MEd, CSSE, CGC is a trauma-informed sex and relationship therapist who facilitates people through their concerns for a more fulfilling sex and intimacy life. Annette holds a lot of knowledge and wisdom to offer that is clinical, humanistic and spiritual, not religious. Her philosophy, influenced by Barbara Brennan, is about healing the human energy system, body/emotion, mind, and spirit. She, believes the spirit is not separate! As a Licensed Master of Clinical Social Work, Master of Education in Human Sexuality, Certified Somatic Sex Educator, and Certified Grief Counselor, her practice empowers folks towards healing relationships. This rigorous post-graduate accredited training in sexuality prepared her well to work with all people having these concerns. Annette also uses her extensive training and teaching about healing the human energy system in all her work with clients. Workshops and groups are also a great way to understand your healing path toward your fulfilled self!

In 2009 Annette graduated from Barbara Brennan School of Healing and is currently enrolled in the advanced training program. The school is a global healing institute headed in Florida, USA and Oxford, UK and is dedicated to the evolution of the human spirit with graduates worldwide. In 2009 Annette left her 10-year corporate human resources executive career where she created positive change using HeartMath, Landmark Education, life coaching expertise, and her diversity, equality and inclusion background. Following her true life’s calling, in 2009, Annette launched her sex and relationship coaching practice after gaining her Somatic Sex Educator Certification from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS) in San Francisco.

Since 2009 Annette has worked with hundreds of clients and practitioners in the San Francisco Bay Area, NYC, Metro Detroit and throughout Northern New Mexico. Her Love Making Life Program has been developed throughout the past decade of helping clients gain greater awareness and presence. In 2018 Annette gained her Master’s in Education, Human Sexuality from Widener University and in 2020 her Master’s in Clinical Social Work from New Mexico Highlands University. Her earlier Montana State University undergraduate studies in the 90’s consisted of Gender Studies, Political Science, and International Relations where she was a main organizer of the 1st Take Back the Night March in Bozeman, MT. It is no surprise in 8th grade Annette was noted as most likely to become a social worker. She remains passionate about community and the greater good, weaving teachings of somatic, spiritual and alternative forms of healing into traditional education and therapy. In the future you will find her lovingly and gracefully facilitating healing within private sessions, workshops, and teachings to affect shifts in our thinking toward diversity, equity, and inclusion. Let us all learn how to Love Making Life!

Annette is currently accepting new clients, her sliding scale is $200-$159 per hour, and she does not take insurance.  Coaching packages offer more affordable rates. See above… Annette is a specialist and tends to work with clients who want to deepen in areas of sexuality, relationships, or a spiritual path. If you are in crisis, please reach out to your local behavioral health providers or agencies for services. For more connection with Annette, check out her FREE weekly meditation groups and workshop schedules. To book sessions, please email her at or schedule a free consult.

Annette can be retained for speaking engagements, classes and consults with organizations, agencies, clinicians and other practitioners regularly to empower them to help their clients/employees with sexuality, relationship, and spirituality.

Short List of Education/Certifications:
  • Advanced Studies & Teacher Training – Barbara Brennan School of Healing, Current – 2024
  • Master of Clinical Social Work – NM Highlands University, May 2020
  • Master of Education, Human Sexuality – Widener University, May 2018
  • EMDR Therapist since October 2019
  • Grief and Loss Specialist since September 2019 – Golden Willow Retreat
  • Brennan Healing Science Practitioner since 2009
  • Hands of Light, Light Emerging, Core Light Healing Workshop Leader since 2018
  • Certified Somatic Sex Educator – Advanced Institute on Human Sexuality Studies since 2008
Other credentials: Ordained Minster, Shamanic Practitioner, Shambala Reiki Master and Trainer, Past Life Regression Hypnotherapist
Prior to 2010 Annette held a successful career as a life coach and human resources executive where she used HeartMath and Landmark Education to affect positive change in the workplace.

All sessions are 60 minutes

Book here for Zoom

For in person sessions please text me at 505-652-7633 or


YouTube Videos with Annette

The Healing Power of Forgiveness – at UU Santa Fe

Love Making Life Course Modules
         are Healing… 3 Steps… 9 Modules…

For anyone who wants a better change in their relationship, who wants to experience more intimacy in their close relationships, — without experiencing sexual intimacy problems, past traumatic experiences, or simply avoiding the problem.

A safe space for ALL people, issues, and desires are welcome and included. You should join if you want to create the relationship life of your dreams, single or partnered. Join anonymously. Listen to the course modules at your own pace. 

pre-recorded modules are available below

Modules are educational and healing – try one for free.

Step 1 – Understand Yourself – understand your values, needs, communication style. Learn how to communicate with your partner. 

The first step to this course is GO INSIDE! OPEN THE BOX (even if just a crack) This module facilitates you into yourself. To gain more understanding about how you function in relationship. Individuation is key to creating passion with mystery and gaining or maintaining a strong sense of self. There are tons of different resources out there to get a sense of your personality, how you are inclined to express/suppress yourself, and even your sexual and love style. Understanding yourself is key to developing a healthy relationship. We must have a healthy frame of mind and relationship with ourselves to cultivate that with another. However, time and time again we bypass this important FIRST STEP and think we are taking a shortcut to wholeness! In our externally focused society, we are conditioned to reach outside ourselves for understanding. We learn from a very young age to find THE ONE to complete us. We book therapy and coaching sessions time and time again to get the perfect answers long held INSIDE ourselves. Only we can answer. The answers are gained from understanding ourselves, our values, and our needs.

From Transactional to Transformative Relationships: What’s going on? – Module 1
Understand deeper: your complaints, persistent thought patterns or desires. Get relief through guided meditation and forgiveness exercises.

 Know thyself: What is reciprocity? – Module 2
What is communication and reciprocity? Understand your needs and values. Learn tools for communication and how to increase intimacy with your partner and yourself.

Dive Deeper: Taking inventory – Module 3
Knowing yourself and your values, needs and communication more deeply. I guide you through taking personal inventory. You will learn about your areas to let go and values to cultivate, with Brene Brown’s Wholehearted Inventory and your love languages with Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. 

Step 2 – Understand Your Trauma- Become a healing partner 
In this second step we venture deeper into our roots. Through becoming trauma informed we can heal ourselves and help our partners heal. Simply setting the intention of holding a ‘safe space’ as we become more aware of ourselves and our own patterns it is healing; not only for ourselves, but for our current and future partners. We live in a shame-based society where we all experience trauma because of our upbringing, societal images, and lack of education. This often compounds already held trauma in the body that plays out in our experience of our sexuality. This effects our relationship patterns. Who we attract and bond with. You will learn more about your attachment style and how it effects your past and present relationships. Your trauma understandings will unwind in your body and create more space for your sexual life force energy. Your passion!

Know Your Trauma – Module 4

Learn some coping tools for emotional regulation. Take Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s Attachment Styles Test. Use this to increase intimacy with your partner/spouse and yourself

FREE Weekly Meditation and Healing Circles led by Annette

A great way to connect with the energy healing aspect of being a spiritual human being rather than a disconnected human doing machine.

FRIDAYS 4-445pm Mountain Time – Ongoing

Click HERE for the Weekly Meditation Zoom Link

More info on the weekly meditation:

Seeds of the Spirit is a collection of transformative poetic channelings from Barbara Brennan. These channelings occurred at class meetings at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing.

Each week we will explore one of these transformational poems to connect its deeper meaning to our life and what is going on in the world at this time. These meditations allow us to connect in a deeper way to our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical selves as we interact with all 4 dimensions of humankind; Core Star, Hara, Aura, Physical.

2023 Online Zoom Barbara Brennan Workshops
Cost $100

Late Summer/Fall 2023 on Zoom
 All three Brennan workshops
 Hands of Light, Late August 2023
Learn the basics about spiritual healing: the human energy field, chakra system and high sense perception.

Light Emerging, September 2023
Go deeper into perceiving your needs on every level of your energy field and how you can participate in your self-healing process and healing relationships. Learn about relationship chord healing.

Core Light Healing, October 2023
Explore the nature of the creative process from the Human Energy-Consciousness perspective. Discover how we create blocks in our energy field that cause dysfunction. Understand the process to clear those blocks and release creative potential. Learn about ancestral healing.

RELATIONSHIP and all issues, concerns, and desires are the focus of all workshops. No need to do them in order. Your order is DIVINE! Understand the energy field and high sense perception in HANDS OF LIGHT WORKSHOP. Self-healing and relationship chords in LIGHT EMERGING WORKSHOP. Ancestral healing in CORE LIGHT HEALING WORKSHOP. Heal yourself and your relationships and BE FREE!

Questions? Use this FORM
or email me at

I look forward to being with you sometime soon. In love and light…

TESTIMONIAL FORM – Please do share with me how I can serve you better



If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming anxiety or grief, reach out to talk to someone free and anonymous at 505-954-1057. Help is available. Crisis Counseling for New Mexico.

With all my heart, I recommend the following two books in print or audible (they are actually fabulous to listen, especially when one can’t sleep) With guided meditations in them…
Energy Speaks, by Lee Harris
Radical Acceptance, by Tara Brach, PhD

Here’s a pdf link to a 2015 talk from Tara Brach

For quality WOKE, diversity, equity, inclusion, and sexuality education programs and parent resources for teens check out your local Unitarian Universalist congregation. Offerings include non-secular sex ed programs. Here are great resources on the Santa Fe UU site.

For anyone. 12-step groups are great for understanding yourself, others and our patterns in relationship. I’ve been an active member of 12-step recovery from the family disease of alcoholism for over 25 years. Phone, zoom, and in person meetings are everywhere. Google the group of your choosing…

For couples in recovery, check out RCA (Recovering Couples Anonymous) meetings, books and resources. INVALUABLE!!!!! And it’s FREE!

More resources for couples: Imago relationship therapy with Dr. Hendrix and Dr. Hunt best-selling authors of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, learning and teaching the “Imago Dialogue” allows couples to move from blame and reactivity, to understanding and empathy, so they can create a deeper and loving connection with each other. Here is a link to the Imago website.

Here are links to a few resources from the Gottman Institute. Explore the site. There are wonderful resources for parents too. Free Gottman Newsletter.   Webinars.  30-day Relationship Program.   Online Relationship Intensive.

The Gottman Institute Podcast is great too!