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Relationship & Sexuality Coaching and Therapy

Heal your relationships and be free!

Ancestral Healing, Relational Cord Clearing, Somatic Psychotherapy, and more

San Francisco Bay Area – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Daly City – San Francisco – Marin County – Palo Alto – Burlingame

Love Making Life with…

Annette Gates, LCSW, MEd, CSSE

Hello I’m Annette Gates, LCSW, MEd, CSSE, CGC. All those letters show my dedication to holding a safe space for your healing. Most of my clients are struggling with sexuality and intimacy issues within their relationships, whether they are with a partner or single. Often there are persistent patterns and traumatic past events that create less than ideal relationship dynamics.
Sexual functioning concerns may also be present, leading to decreased capacity for emotional intimacy, freedom and joy in intimate relationships. I work with many clients that have participated in years of therapy and need deeper support unraveling the patterns in their sex and intimacy life. I also support therapists or helping professionals, so they can help their clients better. 
Discussing sexuality and relationship concerns can be difficult for people. I’ve known how long people struggle with an issue and never see change. I can help you find this change using strength-based approaches and deep presence to unravel your patterns.


Love Making Life: A guide to sexual healing and awakening

The guide and sessions facilitated by me are the ultimate commitment to yourself and healing your relationships. They are a path to freedom! Offering a safe space to gain insight into your past, sexual re-education opportunities, and awareness of your patterning around sex and intimacy. It’s a mix of guided inquiry, mindfulness and breath practice. The process develops to affect the change you are seeking. The guide can be self-directed. Sessions are fully clothed. Sessions are offered by phone, video, or in person in Santa Fe, New Mexico and Daly City, California. Schedule a confidential, free 20-minute consultation from the link below.

Schedule a free 20-minute zoom/phone consultation

About the guide for sexual healing and awakening:

After payment, I will send you a personal email with a link to the guide.

Questions? Use this FORM or email me at

If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming anxiety or grief, reach out to talk to someone free and anonymous at 505-954-1057. Help is available. Crisis Counseling for New Mexico.

Nationwide visit NAMI.ORG

Call the NAMI HelpLine at 800-950-6264 or chat M-F, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. In a crisis,  text “NAMI” to 741741 for 24/7, confidential, free crisis counseling.

Loss is pervasive and grief does not discriminate!
Get help in free weekly support groups click below

Contact and Practice

I am currently taking new clients. I do not take insurance.

My sessions and private retreats are mostly on Zoom. In-person sessions are available in:

Santa Fe: 1503 Llano Street
San Francisco Bay Area: Location in Daly City, Ca

  • San Francisco Bay Area coaching sessions are $210 per 50-minute session. No sliding scale.
  • My New Mexico sliding scale is $210-165 per 50-minute session.
  • My rates for BBSH student BIP sessions are different. Please schedule a free zoom consult.
  • My rate for individual and couples sessions are the same.
  • A private retreat package of 5 sessions is available at $825, 3 payments are accepted. Must be used in 3 months or less. Works out to $165/session.

Annette Gates, LCSW, MEd, is a sexuality and relationship therapist and coach who facilitates people through their concerns for a more fulfilling relationship life. Annette holds knowledge and wisdom to offer that is clinical, humanistic and spiritual, not religious. Her philosophy, influenced by Barbara Brennan, is about healing the human energy system, body/emotion, mind, and spirit. As a Licensed Clinical Social Work Psychotherapist (2020), Master of Education in Human Sexuality (2018), and Certified Grief Counselor (2021), her practice empowers folks towards healing relationships. She is the author of Love Making Life: A guide for sexual healing and awakening. Additional credentials and affiliations include: AASECT member (2017), EMDR therapist (2019), Shamanic Practitioner (2013), Ashtanga Yoga Teacher (2008), Past Life Regression Hypnotherapist (2009), HeartMath Institute (2005), Shambala Reiki Master and Trainer (2006), Landmark Education (2002).

Annette is a specialist and tends to work with clients who want to deepen in areas of sexuality, relationships, or a spiritual path. If you are in crisis, please reach out to your local behavioral health providers or agencies for services. For more connection with Annette, check out her FREE meditation groups and affordable workshop schedules. To book sessions, please email her at or schedule a free consult.

Annette can be retained for speaking engagements, classes and consults with organizations, agencies, clinicians and other practitioners regularly to empower them to help their clients/employees with DEI, toxic masculinity, sexuality, relationship, and spirituality.

Peer reflection supervision sessions:
On Saturday Nov 4th, 2023 at 11am I will offer a 60-minute supervision group. Participants can bring relationship and sexuality concerns for themselves or clients. Suggested donation of $30. Please email me or text me to sign up. 505-652-7633 or

FREE Biweekly Meditation and Healing Circles led by Annette

A great way to connect with the energy healing aspect of being a spiritual human being rather than a disconnected human doing machine.

WEDNESDAYS biweekly at 10am MT, 12pm noon ET on:

Sept 13th, Sept 27th, Oct 11th, Oct 25th and Saturday Nov 4th

Click HERE for the Zoom Link

More info:

Seeds of the Spirit is a collection of transformative poetic channelings from Barbara Brennan. These channelings occurred at class meetings at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing.

Each week we will explore one of these transformational poems to connect its deeper meaning to our life and what is going on in the world at this time. These meditations allow us to connect in a deeper way to our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical selves as we interact with all 4 dimensions of humankind; Core Star, Hara, Aura, Physical.

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All sessions are 50 minutes

Book here for Zoom

Book here for in person sessions in Santa Fe

Listen to an interview with Annette on Spotify 

The Healing Power of Forgiveness – at UU Santa Fe

FREE Love Making Life Course Modules

For anyone who wants change in their relationship, who wants more intimacy — without experiencing sexual problems, past traumatic experiences, or simply avoiding the problem.

From Transactional to Transformative Relationships: What’s going on? – Module 1
Understand deeper: your complaints, persistent thought patterns or desires. Get relief through guided meditation and forgiveness exercises.

 Know thyself: What is reciprocity? – Module 2
What is communication and reciprocity? Understand your needs and values. Learn tools for communication and how to increase intimacy with your partner and yourself.

Dive Deeper: Taking inventory – Module 3
Knowing yourself and your values, needs and communication more deeply. I guide you through taking personal inventory. You will learn about your areas to let go and values to cultivate, with Brene Brown’s Wholehearted Inventory and your love languages with Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. 

Understand Your Trauma- Become a healing partner 
Venture deeper into our roots. Through becoming trauma informed we can heal ourselves and help our partners heal. Simply setting the intention of holding a ‘safe space’ as we become more aware of ourselves and our own patterns it is healing; not only for ourselves, but for our current and future partners. We live in a shame-based society where we all experience trauma because of our upbringing, societal images, and lack of education. This often compounds already held trauma in the body that plays out in our experience of our sexuality. This effects our relationship patterns. Who we attract and bond with. You will learn more about your attachment style and how it effects your past and present relationships. Your trauma understandings will unwind in your body and create more space for your sexual life force energy. Your passion!

Know Your Trauma – Module 4

Learn some coping tools for emotional regulation. Take Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s Attachment Styles Test. Use this to increase intimacy with your partner/spouse and yourself

2023 Online Zoom Barbara Brennan Workshops
Cost $100
OCTOBER 2023/Winter 2024 on Zoom
 All three Brennan workshops
Saturday and Sunday
10am – 2pm MT
Core Light Healing, October 28 & 29 2023
Explore the nature of the creative process from the Human Energy-Consciousness perspective. Discover how we create blocks in our energy field that cause dysfunction. Understand the process to clear those blocks and release creative potential. Learn about ancestral healing.
Hands of Light, January 6 & 7 2024
Learn the basics about spiritual healing: the human energy field, chakra system and high sense perception.
Light Emerging, February 17 & 18 2024
Go deeper into perceiving your needs on every level of your energy field and how you can participate in your self-healing process and healing relationships. Learn about relationship chord healing.
Core Light Healing, March 9 & 10 2024
Explore the nature of the creative process from the Human Energy-Consciousness perspective. Discover how we create blocks in our energy field that cause dysfunction. Understand the process to clear those blocks and release creative potential. Learn about ancestral healing.

RELATIONSHIP and all issues, concerns, and desires are the focus of all workshops. No need to do them in order. Your order is DIVINE! Understand the energy field and high sense perception in HANDS OF LIGHT WORKSHOP. Self-healing and relationship chords in LIGHT EMERGING WORKSHOP. Ancestral healing in CORE LIGHT HEALING WORKSHOP. Heal yourself and your relationships and BE FREE!

TESTIMONIAL FORM – Please do share with me how I can serve you better.

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Sexual Intimacy Resources:


Parlor Games
Women need science, solutions & sisterhood for the second half of life. They are saving the world, one vagina at a time.

Intimate certified organic products which respect and care for the vagina & vulva. Designed to be side effect-free, natural and pH matched to the vagina.

Please request the link for adult educational video resources. Email me at

Communication in Relationship Resources:

For anyone. 12-step groups are great for understanding yourself, others and our patterns in relationship. I’ve been an active member of 12-step recovery from the family disease of alcoholism for over 25 years. Phone, zoom, and in person meetings are everywhere. Google the group of your choosing…

For couples in recovery, check out RCA (Recovering Couples Anonymous) meetings, books and resources. INVALUABLE!!!!! And it’s FREE!

Here are links to a few resources from the Gottman Institute. Explore the site. There are wonderful resources for parents too. Free Gottman Newsletter.   Webinars.  30-day Relationship Program.   Online Relationship Intensive.

The Gottman Institute Podcast is great too!